The last installment – for now, of The War of Words and Worse
by Stephen Cartmell.
The Final Battle
A buzz from the skies,
Brought looks of surprise,
As two aeroplanes climbed with a roar,
There was one for each side,
And they flew both with pride,
For the victor would win the Great War.
So, with only two left,
The battle was fought,
By two daring boys of great note,
It was Charles ‘Hotshot’ Higgins,
Agains James ‘Bullseye’ Biggins,
And both had a lump in their throat.
They flew at each other,
Like two raging bulls,
Then Higgins fired his first shot,
It hit Biggins’ wing,
With a whiz and a ping,
Which made Biggins feel quite a clot.
His pride was hurt,
Far more than his plane,
So he turned yet again to his foe,
With one burst of his gun,
He spoilt Higgins’ fun,
And dealt him a terrible blow.
Now Higgins and Biggins,
Were both in despair,
For their aircraft were starting to shudder,
They’d both had good hits
Higgins’ wing was in bits
And Biggins had lost half his rudder.
They were pilots of courage,
Daring and bold,
Of that there was simply no doubt,
But when engines go pop,
And come to a stop,
The pilots are forced to jump out.
As their parachutes billowed,
They kept up the fight,
Hurling insults and lots of rude words,
You must guess what they said,
As it’s better unread,
And really shouldn’t be heard.
The young cows in the field,
Watched them drop from the sky,
Straight into a mound of manure,
They were covered in muck,
Had run out of luck,
And the pong was hard to endure.
So holding their noses,
And with watering eyes,
They hardly believed what they saw,
Each had a fat belly,
And were both really smelly,
The reason they started the war.
The two boys shook hands,
Enough was enough,
A hot bath was all they desired,
So they ended the war,
Agreed to a draw,
And the two brave pilots retired.
Peace At Last
Higgins and Biggins,
Are now best of friends,
And live side by side near the sea,
They take country walks,
Have interesting talks,
And invite each other for tea.
They never fall out,
Or shout when they play,
All they own, they are happy to share,
No quarrels, no fights,
All they fly are their kites,
Just friends, lending toys without care.
